My heart is beating rapidly,

my clothes are soaked in sweat.

If there’s anything that I fear more,

I haven’t found it yet.


I am terrified and shaking

and wish that I could run,

but know there is no backing out.

if victory’s to be won.


There’s one with far more courage,

who I truly wish were here,

but this great task is mine alone

and I must persevere.


The manly power inside me says,

“You’re stronger than you think.

Go change the baby’s diaper

and remove that awful stink!”